Richmond is too far from anyone and I don’t want to be here and I just want someone or something, not even sure. Waking up with panic attacks each night is going to kill me
I did something crazy today with the help of my friends.
And I’m learning about loneliness each night.
"I want to make you feel as beautiful as I think you are."
Because working 15 days in a row is stressful, gaining weight is stressful, life is stressful.
Drunken self and little green hair drank copiously and decided having pizza delivered to our place of employment at 1 am was a brilliant idea. Not sure if I should be stoked or mortified, but I totally left it in the walk in for the morning shift to find. Whoops.
I don’t think I know what to feel a n y m o r e
Who needs days off when you can still look sassy despite being covered in poison ivy?
After receiving this silly invite, I miss my friends more than ever. I miss the oddest themed parties and staying up too late because well, too drunk to just pass out. I’m coming on the third month of living on my own and I was always told this would be one of the toughest challenges.
At least I have my job and working 15 days straight.
What I’m really trying to say is, I’d like someone to attend this silly little gathering with me.
It’s 2008 all over again and names and state lines connect thoughts to feelings. I am elsewhere and can’t remember my last shower. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism, maybe it’s something more. I have dreams of doctors tearing me at the seams trying to fix something you buried deep in me, my sutures never get the chance to heal and I’m left raw and bloodied and left feeling like less of a human each time I wake.
But they are only dreams and I know that record player was a dumb purchase, but how could I ever say no to you?
Like you said, maybe I’ll see you around.